Ten ways to exterminate Dalek Caan
by Toxic Poptart
Summary: OH MAH GAWD! First crossover, bros! this is mainly minecraft with a teensy bit of doctor who because of Dalek (that's netharian for 'lord') Caan's name. rated T for not so mild language
1. Pre-story intro

OH MAH GAWD

A SEQUEL

Hai guys! Since "Ten ways to kill Io" was soooo popular, it's...

*random gameshow music and wheeled sign saying 'sequel time' being pushed by a very pissed Aalpha in a cat outfit appears* SEQUEL TIME!

psst, Aalpha! That's your cue!

Aalpha, looking even more pissed off, said in monotone, "meow."

thaaaats the spirit! *whispering to Aalpha* That was terrible...

"Well, excuuuuuuuse me for being forced to participate in a Fanfiction that's all about killing my boyfriend!"

Aw, look what you did! Spoiled the title chapter! Well, I guess I might as well say, it's time foooorrr,

TEN WAYS TO EXTERMINATE DALEK CAAN!

*random Dalek appears* "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE EXTER-"

*Doctor No. 12 appears with Clara Oswin Oswald* "OI! NOT SO FAST!" *Points sonic screwdriver at Dalek Caan *boyfriend* and kills him*

"Oops, wrong Dalek. Sorry, old chap! Didn't know 'Dalek' is netharian for 'Lord'!"

AND SO IT BEGINS!

SOON!

Problem?


	2. Chapter 1

NUMBAH ONE

So delishus. Much like. Wow. So kill.

Caan was sitting at his couch, reading a book. He was kinda hungry, so he left to get a bite. He went into his kitchen, and reached into his doughnut bag. What he pulled out...

Gave him nightmares.

There was a chocolate glazed doughnut that had a shiba inu dog face on it that was staring at him. The very GAZE of the thing caused a nuclear power plant to explode, and little children to piss themselves while running away to either the Yukon or Antarctica, whatever is farthest.

And then...the damn thing SPOKE.

"omg. So delishus. Must want. Much amazingly good. Wow."

Caan stared at the dogenut, locking gazes with it.

*dogenut intensifies and turns yellow while rising into the sky*

"DOGEI...DOGEI...WOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!"

*shoop da whoop face appears and says 'Ima firin mah laizer!' while shooting a blue beam from its mouth*

"AHHHHHHHH-"

*le universe explodes in a fury of doge :3*

AUTHOR:1

CAAN:0

AN

sorry if it's kinda bad :3 I have a bad case of writers block, but I need to get more stories out ^.^


	3. Chapter 2

NUMBAH TWO

I want the cookies!

Caan was sitting at his desk writing a minecraft fanfic. When all of a sudden...

"BOOO WHEEEEOOOOOO WHEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHEEEEEEEEEEEOO WHEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOO OOO WHEEEEEEOOOOOOOO WOOOOO WHEEEOOOOOOOOO WHEEEEOOOOOOO OOO WHEEEOOOOOO OOO WHEOoOoOoO BEWWWWW"

Jo was standing on top of Caan's bed screeching at the top of her lungs, trying to sing the doctor who theme.

My ears are bleeding, Jo! What gives?!

Jo clapped her hands together and then spread them out, making a little rainbow, while saying, "Look at alllll the fucks I give!" She then pointed at random objects around the room."Oh look! There's a fuck! Oh oh, and over there too! Wow! It's a fuck zoo!"

Dammit, Jo, I rated this story for MILD language, easy on the profanity!

"NO."

Ill give you a cookieee!

"TWO cookies."

THREE cookies.

Jo's eyes followed the three cookies I held in my hand. She was drooling a little.

Do ya want the cookies, Jo? Huh? Do ya want 'em? Do ya do ya do ya?!

"GIVE ME THE COOKIES AND QUIT FUCKIN' WITH ME, DAMMIT!"

Alright, alright... Eesh.

Here, Caan, catch!

Caan turned around from his computer screen, said, "What?" Then caught the cookies.

Jo turned around at Caan, got on all fours, and charged at him, making snarly noises.

"GIVE ME THE DAMN COOKIES! THEY'RE MINE! RAAAARGH!"

Jo jumped on Caan and used her claws to latch onto him. She was positioned in such a way that Caan's face was smack dab in the middle of her D sized boobs.

And then, on top of all of that, AALPHA WALKED IN.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU BASTARD?!"

"uh, Aalpha, it's not what it looks like! I'm definetly NOT cheating on you! Even if Jo has bigger boobs!"

"WHAAAAAATTTTTT?!"

"uh, no that's not what I- uh, I mean- Um...Toxic, help me out here!"

Sure, 'Ol buddy 'Ol pal of mine! I saw the whole thing unfold! and trust me, It really IS what it looks like!

"See? Thanks, to-WAIT, WHAT?!"

Yup! Caan was making out with Jo, the she straddled him, leaned over, and smashed her boobs in his face! :3

Aalpha's eye twitched. "FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

The house in the nether exploded.

And that, boyfriends, is why you never cheat on your girlfriends!

Jo? Why are you crying?

"BECAUSE I NEVER GOT MY COOKIE DX"


	4. Not really a chapter

hello.

I just wanted to tell you guys that everyone is mad at me and I don't know why. It's just that my doggie died a little while back and I don't know how to deal with lost. Truth to be told, almost every time people get mad at me, I grab a long shirt that I have, wrap it around my neck, and pull as hard as I can. The only reason I'm not dead by now is because I still have you guys, harrypotterenciclopedia24 and mellifluousiness (sorry for the bad spelling) to look forward to. I also have meema and my parents.

But my parents left me with just my house, and meema is sick in the hospital. HPE24 and Flu both hate me now, but I don't know why, and I just can't find any reason for me to even live. All I do is just screw up. That's all I am, a big screw up. I might even be insane. Nobody wants me, nobody likes me, and I don't even like myself. So I might just go along with killing myself. Oh well, no one will miss me.

But maybe you guys do like me, maybe my parents will come back, maybe Lucy's ash box is empty, and she just escaped. Actually, she is dead, you guys hate me, and my parents will never come back for just some idiot girl.

if I don't kill myself, please don't be so harsh. but if I do, then just forget about me. Hey, maybe I might be in the news. I guess that'll be pretty cool, I always wanted to be a movie star when I was little. Well, if I do turn up in the news, could you guys just read maybe a little bit, or watch just for a second? That would be really nice.

Well, anywhoo, I'll see you later.

Bye!

Oh, and merry Christmas!


End file.
